Sunday, October 28, 2012

Monday Mournings - The Death of a Father

Since I didn't have anyone else for today's post, I asked my husband if he'd answer my questions.  He is not a writer, so I just transcribed what he said.  I know this death affected him a lot.

DW:  Who was the person that died? 
ES:  My dad.
DW:  How old were you at the time? 
ES:  I was fifteen.

DW:  How old was your Dad? 
ES: He was fifty-one. 

DW:  Was it a sudden death or did you know it was going to happen? 
ES:  We knew it was going to happen. The doctor gave him a couple of months to live.  He had cancerous tumors throughout his whole body.  He ended up living for about eight months.

DW:  Did you and your Dad talk about his death? 
ES:  We did, but it was basically, "I'm not going to live much longer." And that was it.

DW:  Had you experienced any other deaths in your personal life before your Dad died? 
ES: My grandmother, my dad's mom, died a few days before he did.  He traveled from Texas to North Dakota for her funeral and that's where he died.

DW:  Were people supportive of your grief or did they shy away when you were grieving?
ES:  Yes, friends and family were supportive.
DW:  Is there anything you wish you'd done differently with this person? 
ES:  No.  We spent a lot of time together towards the end.  He took me fishing almost every weekend, even though he wasn't supposed to be out in the sun.

DW:  Was he buried or cremated? 
ES:  Buried.  He had a military burial.

DW:  Did you learn anything about the grieving process that you'd like to share? 
ES:  Grief never ends.  I'll see people my age who still have parents that are alive and it makes me wonder what my life would be like if he were still here.

DW:  Were any songs played at the memorial that were important to your Dad?
ES:  No songs were played.  Although Taps was played by bagpipes at his service.  My sister Karen, said that he liked the song "Mr. Bojangles," so this goes out to Ron.



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