Sunday, April 8, 2012

H is for...


Psyche!  This post is totally not about the Hunger Games, even though the book (and yes even the movie) is all about DEATH.  Instead, I'm going to try my darndest to kind of incorporate the Hunger Games into a long drawn out metaphor about what it's like to be a writer.  

If you're a writer, you're used to sitting alone at your computer sharpening the weapons in your writer's toolbox.  Sometimes, you think you're getting pretty good at this writing thing.  At least that's what your Mom tells you, but she doesn't count. You're hungry to see if  your skills are really that stellar, so you venture out into the world to shoot a squirrel.  
Squirrel?

Wait a second.  I take that back. You don't kill a squirrel because that would be senseless and cruel, unless you plan on eating it and I don't know, squirrel meat just sounds kind of yucky.  Instead, you take your coffee stained, wrinkled pages to your trusty writer's group or you send your manuscript to a trusted friend to see what they think about your supposedly mad writing skills.

There is a long pause.  Sometimes it starts out with a vague "that was interesting" comment and then you hear the dreaded words that no writer ever wants to hear, "Primrose Everdeen!"  I mean, "BUT."  And there's always a but.  Why?  Because writing is subjective.  Some people think the Twilight books are the cat's pajamas and I think they're...well, um, uniquely different, but that's another story.

Okay, so let's say there's is a reaping and you volunteer your story because your younger sister's story is kind of weak. And you meet Lenny Kravitz, I mean this cool person that you really like and she gives you a writer's hat and convinces you that you're going to nail this one and be victorious in this game.  So you submit.

After hitting send, you run off into the forest to get as far away from the other writers as you can and you wait.  And wait.  And wait some more.  And just when you're about to give up, a balloon drops from the sky and says, "Congratulations.  We have whittled down all the entries to the top forty and yours is one of them.  We'll let you know soon. Thanks for your patience."

So for the first time in a long time you've got hope and hope is good. But then you realize you're going to have to kill Peeta to be the victor in this game of publication.  And who wants to kill Peeta?  

I certainly don't want to kill Peeta.  

But it's all for naught because you get rejected from this book, so you contemplate eating some poison berries for like a second and then you realize you don't have to do anything that rash because you and Peeta can both win.


So what's the moral of this story?  There are several. You can't win if you don't play the game.  Don't kill the people who help you along the way.  In fact, prop them up and support them in any way you can. And whatever you do, don't give up.  This writing game is a bitch, but lucky for us, there can be more than one victor.  Even luckier, it's not televised.

30 comments:

  1. Hilarious post. It has lots of great writing advice. Thanks for posting.

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    1. Thanks for reading and commenting. I appreciate it!

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  2. This was a fun read with lots of advise and humor. Thanks!

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    1. I try to keep death as fun and non-scary as possible.

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  3. My dirty little secret - I have not read the Hunger Games. But this H post was a fun and random read - SQUIRREL! - and what's this about Lenny Kravitz?

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    1. Lenny Kravitz plays "Cinna," in the movie, which is kind of random casting.
      It's really a quick fun read. I don't usually venture into fiction, especially YA, but for some reason I did and I got hooked. It's fun to read the same book as my daughter and be able to discuss it.

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  4. Love this post! Great analogy. :)

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    1. Yeah, this is more of an analogy than a metaphor:)

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  5. OH MY GOD!! This post was hilarious!! And the moral of the story was an excellent one. I'm gonna keep this post in mind whenever I'm having doubts about my writing. No poison berries for me! ;)

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  6. Ha! I like the analogy you weren't making.

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  7. This post is funny as hell!

    /Props

    If I take one thing away from this post it's this:

    Twilight is awful.

    I know there's several better points that I should take, but I can't help jumping at the chance to bag on Twlight!

    /Wes

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    1. I wholeheartedly agree with you about Twilight, but I've seen all the movies. I feel so ashamed!

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  8. Loved this post. Now I'm curious about the taste of squirrel, but not so much to satisfy that curiosity.

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    1. It would take being deserted on an island (you know where squirrels naturally live) to resort to killing them for food. I do like to watch squirrels out my kitchen window, as do my cats. My cats, on the other hand, would love to get their paws on a squirrel.

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  9. Liked the books for a quick read, not going to watch the movie (kind of sad to see a 40+ year old woman alone in the movie theatre with a bunch of YAs looking at me suspiciously). Wondering why, as a writer, I shouldn't start thinking of my life as the hunger games. Oh yeah - because I'm not that great with shooting arrows around.

    Great post, you've got a new follower (stalker).

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  10. There were a ton of adults in the audience at the movie. I was the pathetic, lonely 40+ adult at the first Twilight movie.

    Stalking is fine by me. In face, I wish I had more stalkers. Welcome.

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  11. i love lenny kravitz so much i could marry him but then that would be kinda gross cuz he was already married to lisa bonet and lenny and i look like we could be cousins but dont you think that little hotty guy from slumdog millionaire would've made a better peeta and yes i purposely left out punctuation a la jose saramago.

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    1. Well, Pammy Pam, as a fellow Pam, you get to ignore all rules of punctuation and grammar whenever you comment on my blog. Why? Because I do.

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    1. You DID it!!! You posted on my blog. Congratulations! Don't be a stranger:)

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  13. Great post. I got the squirrel reference, but may be the only person that hasn't read or seen Hunger Games. I agree. We need to keep playing.

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    1. "Up" is one of my favorite movies of all times. I've got kids, so I've seen it probably 10 or more times and I still can't watch the first part without weeping.

      You're not totally alone on the "Hunger Games."

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  14. I think it's great that you read Hunger Games with your daughter. I really enjoyed the movie. I'll be extra careful around squirrels from now on! Julie

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  15. Brilliant little post, and THANK YOU, dear friend! By the way, I swear that hat is lucky. Wear it often.

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Comments are welcome and appreciated!