Tuesday, April 3, 2012

C is for


Although I really like cookies, I'm gonna kick 
the cookie monster to the curb.

C is for CREMATION

If you’ve read my blog before, you know that my wish is to be cremated when I die.  
 Here are my random thoughts about being reduced to ashes.


1.  It’s cheaper than burial and I’m a thrifty, thrift shopping kind of gal.  You don’t have to buy a casket, although most crematoriums require that you are placed in a box, but it can be a cardboard box. 
Like this one.
2.  A burial plot takes up space on the planet.  I'd rather the land be used to build a really cool park with lots of swing sets or maybe a library with real paper books instead of another cemetery.  Or why not both?  Maybe if I'm loaded when I die, they could name a library after me?  I like that idea.

3.  I like the word "cremains."  And you can do all sorts of cool stuff with cremains. (But can you fly with cremains?  Look here.)  

4.  I want to be scattered somewhere, not buried six feet under in some claustrophobic container.  You know, flying free and making people sneezy?  But there are laws about where you can sprinkle ashes, so check with your local bureaucrats before you go doing something like this...

5.  You see that Folger's can right there?  I totally want that--just a simple container to transport me from the crematorium to the great outdoors with maybe a pit stop at the Ritz Carlton to be sprinkled in an outdoor ashtray.  Some unsuspecting worker would dig the butts out of the container and then stamp their logo on me.  I mean, how cool would that be?  

6.  You know how kids hold their breath when they pass a cemetery?  I don't think we need kids holding their breath that much.  It's not good for them.  And it's disrespectful to the dead.

I'm kidding, of course.  The dead don't care what you do.  So what do you want to do?  Does cremation creep you out?  






18 comments:

  1. This post I can relate to! I too want to be cremated. Dont dare put me in a box in the ground. My said, before she died, to put her in 2 ziplock bags. One for me to carry in my purse and the other for my Dad to carry in his back pocket. She was a hoot. Great post! Cremation here i come!

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    1. Thanks for visiting my blog and commenting! I was very moved by your C post.

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  2. Hmm. I could copy/paste yesterday's comment but I won't.

    What I will say is that I'm all for becoming one with the world and floating throughout the planet.

    I want my remains to be free and not locked in a bleak, dark prison.

    /Wes

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  3. Cremation doesn't creep me out, and it can make for a beautiful ceremony - ashes sprinkled into the sea, for example. I live in Chicago, and at one of the famous graveyards the owners dug up a lot of the graves and either stole valuables from the corpses or something else, I'm not sure what. They're all in jail now. If I'm buried, I don't want my grave disturbed. However, there is no guarantee of that.

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    1. I remember seeing that in the news and I think I posted a link to it in a way older post. You've got to be seriously disturbed to dig up somebody's grave looking for a ring or a gold tooth or something. See, that right there is another plus on the cremation side.
      But, one thing about cremation is if you have any metal stuff in you (plate in your head or maybe a pacemaker) they've got to remove it before they put you in the machine.

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  4. I used to want to be cremated but now I think I'd like a green burial and provide nourishment for a tree planted over me. Actually, it's not something I need to worry about as I plan to live for ever;-)

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    1. I suspect green burial is going to get bigger, but right now they don't have as many places available as a regular cemetery.

      Good luck with that:)

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  5. I would like to be cremated for many of the same reasons you want to be. It's definitely cheaper. :)

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  6. Very funny and enlightening post, as usual. It's cremation for me, too.

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  7. Your book sounds so fascinating, I'm really intrigued. So glad to have found your blog, I'm looking forward to reading more of your posts.

    I think I would like to be cremated, the idea of rotting in the ground is very creepy to me.

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    1. Thanks Julie!
      I'll be posting an excerpt from it tomorrow. Givin' away the milk for free!

      Thanks for stopping by!

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  8. While I do enjoy the notion of having a viking/jedi funeral by being burned on a funeral pyre...I really hate fire! If you've ever been burned, than you know. I'm not talking about just a little burn from the stove or even a sunburn I'm talking REALLY BURNED! I once accidentally grabbed a burning Coleman gas lantern at a campout when I was a boy and burned my fingertips off. They didn't come back for months! By the way I really like this A-Z Blogging, I wish I could join in but I don't think I could keep it up. Lol

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    1. No, I have never suffered anything other than several really bad, blistering sunburns. But the wonderful thing (okay, that sounds weird, but bear with me) is that you will be dead and won't be able to feel the flames. I know, I've said I don't want to be in a box in the ground. I won't know any better because I'll be gone from my body.
      Yes, this blogging thing is a blast. I haven't felt so motivated to write in a long time!

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  9. When I'm cremated I want to be thrown in the face of my enemies. Family - please, please, please don't turn me into a necklace or a paint me in a hideously spooky portrait. Although being shot into space sounds pretty cool :D

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    1. That's funny. I don't want to be made into anything either. I want to be a memory, not a trinket.

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  10. Cremation is my choice too. Sometimes I think I'd like my ashes compressed into a "diamond" and shot into orbit, maybe straight through some TV satellite spreading awful reality TV shows all over the globe. I'd love to take one of those down.

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    1. Now that's a death wish I can get behind!

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Comments are welcome and appreciated!