Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Where is my motivation?

Well, it has been missing over the past two weeks.  Actual living can erase all thoughts of death and dying.  For most, that is kind of a good thing.  Why worry about it?

For me, it is not so good.  I am supposed to be pounding out the pages on my manuscript, but lately I haven't been motivated to do so.  I've had sick kids, I adopted an adorable little kitten who is hell bent on destroying every piece of furniture I own, and my actual day job has been demanding lately.

But, that all ended yesterday.  In August, I contacted a death row inmate named Khristian Oliver.  My reason?  A death row inmate is the only person, besides someone intent on killing themselves, who actually knows the date and approximate time of their death.  When I polled people about knowing when they were going to die, most said they'd rather not know.  So, I was curious.  Mr. Oliver didn't scare me.  Yes, he killed someone (and no I don't condone killing people) but there was something about him that made me feel I could approach him.  So, I wrote him a letter.  He replied and politely declined to be interviewed.  I accepted that and didn't pursue anyone else.  It's a weird line of questioning I'm going after and quite frankly, it's an uncomfortable spot to be in.

Yesterday, I got a letter from him out of the blue.  It actually made me cry.  It was simple and straightforward and honest.  Without him actually saying it, I saw his loss of hope.  He has accepted his fate.

Now I am desperately trying to figure out the best way to interview him.  Time is running out. His execution date is November 5, 2009.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Comments are welcome and appreciated!